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| 03:52pm 06/03/2005 |
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i went to see my grandma in the hospital today. it was really sad. she couldn't talk because they had to cut a hole in her throat so they could stick a tube in there to pump oxygen into her. so she wrote everything on dry erase boards. it reminded me of when i was ten and she had cancer in her mouth for the second time and she had 2/3 of here tongue removed. she had to write everything on dry erase boards then to. her being in the hospital has never really effected me as much as it has this time. right when i walked in the door she got tears in her eyes and when i bent down to give her a hug i could hear her struggling to say "i love you" in my ear. then we went to visit my grandpa because he was all alone at home. he was really lonely, especially because he had a stroke 14 years ago so he can't do much on his own.
anyyyyway. then i come home, i call karen and she has to go to church. so now im home alone but i think i am going to my dads here soon to eat dinner.
aaaaand im done.
get at me, one. (ghetto talk) |
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| 11:23pm 04/03/2005 |
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music: SEX - the devil is the doubt on my mind
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1. First name?
-----> ty
2. Were you named after anyone?
-----> my grandpa and uncle(paul)
3. Do you wish on stars?
-----> nope
4. When did you last cry?
-----> I won’t try to be a hard ass... probably a few days ago.
5. Do you like your handwriting?
-----> sometimes
6. What is your favorite lunch meat?
-----> im a veggie, but tofurkey is ve best
7. What is your birth date?
-----> may 17, 1989
8. What is your most embarrassing CD?
-----> the starting line
9. Do you have a journal?
----> online I have three.. I used to have a real one
10. What do u like best about youself?
-----> my taste in music
11. Would you bungee jump?
-----> never
12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
-----> no
13. Do you think that you are strong?
-----> hahahahah
14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
-----> peanut butter, mint chocolate chip, peppermint stick, and black raspberry chip.
15.Sex or ice cream?
-----> sex with a certain person
16. Red or pink?
-----> red
17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
-----> my bloody nose problem
18. Last person you ate with?
----->k dawg
19. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back?
-----> eff you
20. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
-----> really light jeans and brown dvs
21. What are you listening to right now?
-----> SEX - we love ourselves Great song by the way
22. Last thing you ate?
-----> a pop tart
23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
-----> green
24. What is the weather like right now?
----->cold and dry
25. Last person you talked to on the phone?
----->k dawg or my mom
26. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
-----> hair
27. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
-----> no one effing sent it to me stupid bitch
28. Favorite Drink?
-----> orange juice or jones fufu or cappus
29. Favorite Sport?
-----> beach volleyball beetch! I guess...
30. Hair Color?
----->brown/black/blondish
31. Eye Color?
-----> blue/grey
32. Do you wear contacts?
-----> no bitches 10/20 vision.. Das betta den 20/20
33. Favorite Food?
-----> cheese quesadilla with jalapeno sauce from toxic hell
34. Last Movie You Watched?
-----> perfume
35. Favorite Day Of The Year?
-----> may 17
36. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?
-----> ehh depends
37. Summer Or Winter?
-----> Summer
38. Hugs OR Kisses?
-----> EFFING BOTH! And yes I saw the OR but eff you. Actually if it came down to it kisses.
39. What Is Your Favorite Dessert?
-----> reeses sundae from bob evans
40. Last concert you seen?
-----> bright eyes and hopefully msi here soon
41. What Books Are You Reading?
-----> I wish I could say I was reading a book or two.
42. What's On Your Mouse Pad?
-----> support.dell.com
44. Favorite Smells?
-----> brat pant’s perfume AKA christian dior hypnotic poison
45. Favorite Sounds?
------> face pant’s voice
46. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
-----> Beatles
47. Furthest been from home?
------> florida
48. Do you have a special talent?
-----> im an effing charming!
49. What is your ringtone?
----->it is called pop4 but
50. Are you gonna repost this for other people to do?
-----> of effing course! |
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| 04:51pm 04/03/2005 |
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mood:  empty music: no more music
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so this is my life. i only get one chance to live it. i finally find the way i want to and it seems like it will all work out perfectly. but i guess i forgot somewhere along the way, that something ALWAYS GOES WRONG. there is no way that this will get any better over the next three years, so i should just plan on living the rest of my life the exact opposite way of what i had planned. |
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| 10:47pm 01/03/2005 |
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i am a fucked up kid. |
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| lets all piss ty off |
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| 06:56pm 25/02/2005 |
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mood:  pissed off music: mates of state
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if someone else would like to contribute to my being pissed off, that would be fucking AWESOME. |
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| 08:41pm 23/02/2005 |
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mates of state: i imagine i will see you there, you have long flowers in your hair; i can't tell what kind of life i've led today. |
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| 12:42pm 23/02/2005 |
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kiss my ass buddy nielsen |
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| 11:11am 20/02/2005 |
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mood: depressed music: bright eyes- down a rabbit hole
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hahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhahaahahahahahaaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahah
no good... |
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| 09:53pm 18/02/2005 |
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music: azure ray- november
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So i'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now im scared thats how id like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until i'm taken by these bolts of pain
But i turn them off and tuck them away
till these rainy days that make them stay
And then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And i dont think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we're on our own
Oh,
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
Ill find it in myself
So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks you're not here
And i think i'll want to be alone
So please understand that i dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until i can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all i know
Ohh..
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself |
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| 03:33pm 17/02/2005 |
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music: the good life- aftercrash
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wait wait wait wait, something isn't right here. someone is being selfish. |
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| 09:02pm 15/02/2005 |
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i wanna fight in the war |
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| 09:19pm 11/02/2005 |
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oh what a wonderful day.. oh wait no, thats right.. it just got ruined a half an hour ago.. oops i forgot. |
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| word up.. these things suck |
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| 10:21pm 31/01/2005 |
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music: commander venus- my other car is a spaceship
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x. I am: extremely cool
x. I want: my license and a brand new car
x. I have: no clothes on
x. I wish: my hair would go back to its normal color
x. I hate: everyone
x. I miss: leaps and bounds
x. I fear: tragic accidents involving loved ones
x. I hear: a distant television
x. I search: for a booger in my nose..(honestly)
x. I wonder: how much bigger my penis will get
x. I regret: slacking off in school last quarter
x. I love: k dawg
x. I always: drink cherry coke
x. I am not: cool
x. I dance: all of the time
x. I sing: infront of k dawg
x. I cry: over little things
x. I am not always: clean
x. I write: really bad poetry
x. I win: always
x. I lose: never
x. I confuse: myself
x. I should: not talk to anyone
x. Three things you are often complimented for: um, my niceness, my eyes, my hair
x. You get embarrassed when: someone says my name
x. What upsets you: stupid people
x. You keep a diary: psh, maybe if i was a loser
x. You like to cook: macaroni and cheese
x. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: many, but i can't think of any
x. You set your watch a few minutes ahead: my alarm clock
x. You bite your fingernails: used to
x. You believe in love: always
WHO IS...?
x. The prettiest person of the opposite sex you know: karen
x. The weirdest person you know: k dawg
x. The quietest person you know: gary in my english class
x. Your closest friend(s) : k dawg
x. The person that knows the most about you: k dawg
x. Phrase you say constantly: word up; damn shorty
WHAT IS?
x. Your most overused phrase on IM: holla
x. The last image/thought you go to sleep with: puppies frollicking through a big bright meadow
x. Your best feature: everything
x. An inside joke: is only funny if you are inside
DO YOU...?
x. Take a shower everyday: no
x. Have a (any) crush (es): many. just kidding k dawg.
x. Think you've been in love: word
x. Want to get married: of course
x. Have any tattoos/where?: never
x. Piercing/where?: ears.. but not anymore
x. Get along with your parents: 50% of the time
WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK OF..?
x. Ryan: beer
x. Rob: me
x. Stephanie: Vinsel
x. Heather: that one girl at my school
x. Aaron: BLAKE!
x. Amy: 14 year olds having sex with 27 year olds
x. Eve: jesus
x. Jon: YEAH!
x. Kellen: helen keller in a way
x. Justin: timberlake
x. Tatie: a trailer park
x. Jack: simon
SIGN: Taurus
NATURAL HAIR COLOR:Brown
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: unknown
EYE COLOR: bluish, greyish
(FAVORITES)
NUMBER: 8
COLOR: green, brown
DAY: saturday
MONTH: june
SONG: cut that mullet- wesley willis
FOOD: cheese pizza
DRINK: cherry coke
VEGGIE: asparagus
FRUIT: cantaloupe, cherries
SEASON: early summer
(PREFRENCES)
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?: chocolate caliente
MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE?: milk
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE?: chocolate
(IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU)
CRIED?: no
HELPED SOMEONE?: yes
BOUGHT SOMETHING?: yes
GONE TO THE MOVIES?: yes
GONE OUT FOR DINNER?: no
SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?: to k dawg
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER?: yes
TALKED TO AN EX?: no
MISSED AN EX?: no
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: if you consider this writing in a journal, than i guess
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: no
MISSED SOMEONE?: yes
HUGGED SOMEONE?: yes
KISSED SOMEONE?: yes, k dawg
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS?: no
WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO...
.x. Slept in your bed with you: k dawg
.x. You saw today: thomas
.x. Saw you cry: no idea
.x. Spent the night at your house: drew
.x. You shared a drink with: i don't know
.x. You went to the movies with: karen
.x. You went to the mall with: chuck
.x. Yelled at you: my mommy
.x. Sent you an email: karen
HAVE YOU EVER...
.x. Said "I love you": everyday
.x. Been to New York?: no
.x. Been to Florida?: yes
.x. California?: no
.x. Hawaii?: no
.x. Mexico?: no
.x. China?: no
.x. Canada?: no
x. Danced naked: yes
.x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happens the next day?: probably
.x. Stalked someone?: i don't believe so
PICK ONE...
.x. Apples or bananas?: bananas
.x. Red or blue?: red
.x. Walmart or Kmart?: walmart
.x. Math or English?: math, but i also enjoy english(im cool)
.x. radio or CD?: CD
.x. drawing or painting?: i can't do either... painting would be fun?
.x. High school or college?: high school
THE LAST FEW QUESTIONS...
.x. Last time you went out of the state: pittsburgh, thanksgiving
.x. Lucky number: -1/2
.x. Things you like in a girl/guys: personality, hair, loyalty
.x. Weirdest thing about you?: everything
.x. What book are you reading now?: well, i am reading a play? twelve angry men
.x. What's on your mouse pad?: blueness
.x. Favorite board game?: cranium
.x. Favorite sound?: karen's voice
.x. Worst feeling in the world?: being lied to
.x. What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: fuck
.x. Do you like scary or exciting rollercoasters: both
.x. How many rings before you answer?: 2
.x. Future daughter's name?: maple
.x. Future son's name?: pedro
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: si
.x. If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be?: video game tester
.x. What are you going to do after you finish this survey?: my math homework and sleep
.x. What was the last food you ate?: mac and cheese
.x. you bored?: not really
.x. How many buddies are on?: im signed off
.x. Last movie you saw in the theater?: ARE WE THERE YET?!
.x. was it good?: not at all |
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| 01:55am 18/12/2004 |
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livejournal sucks. |
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| oh pretty baby you're so naive, but it comes off so cute, we don't want to fix you |
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| 08:13pm 02/11/2004 |
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mood:  loved music: cursive
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yesterday marked the ninth month that i've lived in complete(not to be confused with incomplete) amazement.
and today, she came over for just a little bit. but in just that little bit, she can make me feel so incredible. just lying on the floor, pieced together. kissing, exchanging i love you's. i wish she were still here. |
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| i want a better place or just a better way to fall |
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| 05:21pm 18/10/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: modest mouse
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BLAH times ninety seven quantillion.
i don't really know why i am in such a bad mood. i am about 1/4 of the way done with this research paper that is due tomorrow. i can't think about it right now. i can't keep my mind off of something else. oh wait here comes some hope. err wait.. i take that back. gahhhhh. |
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castxshadowx's journal
tired